It was a cold winter night and Krish sat looking out of his bedroom window .It was pitch dark outside and he could hardly see anything. All he could feel was the cold trying to make its way through the glass windows. It was totally dark and quiet. His wife was sleeping snugly wrapped up in a thick fluffy blanket.
It was cold outside but he was feeling suffocated and warm inside. Being a middle aged person has its own advantages and disadvantages .The biggest advantage is that you know life more clearly and can be more calculative .You know the tacts even though you might or might not use them. Biggest disadvantage is that you cannot run away from your responsibilities .
Krish quietly went in the kitchen and made a glass of cold coffee for himself.
Wanted to drink something real cold to feel peaceful inside. He sat on his beautiful and expensive teak wood dining table with the glass tightly clasped in his hands. Took a shallow sip and all of a sudden started crying.
He had a chest pain in the office today and his ECG was a little erratic. Doctor had advised him to take precaution and get regular with his medical checks .
Something was bothering him for a long time now. He was hopping from one job to the other either for a fatter pay package or a promotion .By social standards he was extremely successful-professionally and personally. Coming from a low middle class background and rising to his particular stature was no easy task.
People either envied him or respected him.With his accomplishments they had no other option!
For far he had come!How he often boasted about his accomplishments and hard work to people around him. Beating your own trumpet is the flavor of the times! Talking about the latest political ,financial and technical revolutions always gives you an edge and admiration in social groups .He knew all these laws and practiced them with finesse in his life all 24 hours.
Chasing one target after the other was a way of life for him. But every time he accomplished something ,he somewhere felt more thirsty for the next big leap .Internal happiness was eluding him and he was too scared to share this fact with anyone, not even with his wife. For he felt that sharing his little secret would make him small in the eyes of the other person.
He himself had set too high a standards for himself! Now how could he stop or go slow. Others who were behind him would take over and he just could not stand the fear of social defeat .He was the Number Uno for his family and friends. Krish just could not stop this mad rush that he created and initially enjoyed in his life.
His tears gave a burning sensation to his cheeks and tried to wipe them. But the tears were not ready to stop !He felt a little relieved after this burst out.
His past started to flash in front of him.
He could see how cleverly he had manipulated and used people around him. How smartly he could convince people to do things for him.This was professionalism for him.He always wanted the world to move around him.
He was never a victim of circumstances, it was a self created world. More of this and more of that meant life to him. He simply wanted everything from life but had probably lost the patience to wait for what life had to offer.
Somewhere deep down he realized that all that life offered him gave him everlasting true happiness-his family, his kids , his intelligence ,his health .But his selfishness to overachieve had taken him away from the small real joys of life .His Big Goals had taken over the small things of his life. He had lost the capacity to just relish life without the frills .Its been years since he had really laughed wholeheartedly.
He was faking life most of the times and living a life just to impress others .In all this he had forgotten to live for himself. He had just forgotten his real self and was trying hard to project the image of a complete man. But more he projected ,more shallow he felt inside.Today he realized how insecure he was.In his haste to achieve he was actually losing on his life and peace.Today with all the comforts of the world he felt more discontented and empty.
Instead of earning for living ,he was living for earning all through these years!
He was not enjoying what he was doing ,he was just pretending happiness to fool others and keep up his image.
He went to his kids room and found them sleeping soundly.
Krish looked at the clock .It was three in the night. Slowly he tiptoed to the main entrance of the home. Gently he opened the secure gate and moved out in the cold chilly night. But the cold outside gave him the much needed relief. He felt one with nature.The cold air felt like a mother’s caress and he walked with lofty steps in the open dark night.
He today knew what life meant ,what freedom was!
Today’s night was probably the night of his rebirth and awakening!
Krish walked fast for he knew that he would be a new man from now on. A man he himself would be proud of!
So what was your learning from the life of Krish!
Stop, Relax And think-what you really want from your life!
Life today is filled up with a lot of stress.Stress of getting up early morning,running through the morning chores and finally shooting out for work.Early from childhood we are conditioned to believe that we need to be financially successful to be happy and satisfied.
Success today is defined as more of professional promotions,more fat pay package,more of material comforts,more of luxury,more of social status. Somewhere most of us are running through the mad rush of life for more and more of material comforts. Material comforts are not bad but addiction to them is very dangerous.
But sadly in this mad rush of life majority of us have lost the zeal of life, in the frenzy to be successful in the socially defined parameters. But its more essential to balance and do what you really love to do. Do not lose your identity .That is true success and it would make you happy and contented in this journey of life.