Disciplining children can become a big challenge if not done properly .It is important that first we understand the fundamentals why disciplining requires a lot of patience and empathy.Without these two qualities discipline generated in the child might not last too long.
Why parental discipline is essential?-When we lack in patience,the reaction that comes out quickly is shouting,beating or abusing the child verbally.Due to this the child may comply with the parent due to fear.
But there is more than this.
First he understands that shouting ,beating or abusing is an acceptable behavior.
Secondly he loses respect for the parent in the long run and becomes thick skinned.
Later the parent finds it very hard to control such children as they become resistant to these methods and may even react back to the parents very rudely leading to a more uglier situation both for the parent and the child.
Why Empathy is important?-Our children are living in a world which is very different from the world we were in as kids.So understanding the environment of your child with empathy will give you a realistic view of his behavior.At times the factors for the act of your ward are very different from what they seem to be on the facevalue. So next time be empathetic- take time to be a part of their world,accept their differences and be realistic in your expectations.
So what is the best way to deal with your child under difficult situations?
First be relaxed and listen to his explaination with total attention.Do not interrupt .Let him finish his part of the story.Do not be in a hurry to pass your judgement.
Secondly do not go by preconcieved notions that you have for your child.
Every situation should be dealt with objectivity.
Accept the fact that the child can change over time.
Do not start quoting past instances,discuss the current situation.
Thirdly ask him for suggestions for improvement .
Do not penalize him very severly.
Encourage him for improvement.
Remember your prime motto is to improve him and not to highlight your intelligence.Your ego should not come in between you and your child.
Forthly-Walk the talk!You as a parent need to lead by example.If you want your ward to be punctual than it is imperative that you yourself are punctual in your day to day activities.No amount of sermons can bring such results as can your actions!
If as a parent we have the patience and empathy for our child than for sure results will come and your child will bloom into a positively disciplined individual.